Will You Be A Doer?

How do I know I am supposed to make it work with my spouse?

Abide in the same calling. "Let every man abide in the same calling wherin he was called." 1 Cor 7:20   Do you know God is calling you?  God is telling us to stay as you are where he has called you. Are you married?  Have a family?  Here are his instructions:

Who Are You Listening To?

So, you've made the decision to take back your unfaithful spouse.  You've told your friends and family.  I bet their reaction was less than encouraging.

Whether your friends or family be Christian or Non Christian is irrelevant.  If your own Pastor tells you that you are an idiot for taking your spouse back, turn around and walk the other way.  Do not entertain their ideas of marriage.

There is a scripture that is repeated twice that I've found so far.  And if it's repeated twice, it must be pretty important.

What Does Forgiveness Look Like?

This is specific to marriages.

I have heard many women say to me, "I have forgiven him".  Then a day or two later when the spouse has committed yet another offense against them, the same women bring up the same issues with hurt in their voice.  As if it's happening all over again.  

"He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth...."  Proverbs 17:9

Bold and underline that last part of this sentence!!

"He that repeateth a matter separateth...."

If you keep repeating the matter to your spouse, it means you have not forgiven.

Forgiveness

I keep posting about adultery because I can tell you first hand, it's one of the hardest sin in a marriage to forgive.  To understand it will help one to forgive the spouse who has wronged them.

So should we be offended?

"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding; he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul." Proverbs 6:32

Again, Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, describes the adulterer as a person who destroys their own soul. Who does adultery effect the most?

In this same passage from above he compares the adulterer to a person who has a physical need.  A person who is hungry and in need of food.  A person who steals food to satisfy their hunger.

"For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life....Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry; But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house."

We are Adulterers

Here's how God reacts to adultery:

"They say, If a man put away his wife (divorce), and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again?  shall not that land be greatly polluted?  but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the Lord."  Jeremiah 3:1

He is making a plea here.  Though we have strayed from Him, he is asking us to simply come back.

If your spouse has committed adultery, you have a God who understands the way it feels.  Why?
We have been committing that same adultery toward Him.

So how does God approach this situation towards us?

"yet return again to me, saith the Lord."

Are you saying that I should forgive my spouse and ask for them to return to the marriage?  Yes.

Adultery

Adultery is a touchy subject.  While the Bible says it the only way out of marriage, only the person looking for an out will take this option.  Or someone who doesn't understand it.

To understand it, let's take a look at what the bible says on this subject. 

In Proverbs 7:5-26

"Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman. (relative)

That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flatterth with her words. 

Now the writer of Proverbs begins to paint a picture: 

For at the window of my house I looked through my casement.  And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding. 

Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house. (Minding his own business just passing by)

In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night; And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot (whore), and subtil(crafty, cunning, decietful) of heart. 

Where It All Began

When I met my husband, I was 14 years old in junior high.  It was the summer of 8th grade.

He wasn't my first boyfriend but the first boy I truly loved.

I think my mother was approaching her 3rd marriage when I met him.  My mom and I didn't talk about the birds and bees, marriage, or love.  She was from a different generation where family secrets were normal.  Some things you just didn't talk about. I learned about sex in the upstairs room of my house at the tender age of 12 from my older friend Danielle Bannister.  My dad left when I was young.  I had another man raise me up until he left mom, then he left us girls.  Whether my mom taught us to see relationships as black or